Leaders who lead from the heart are the ones who are
capable of inspiring the team. They are flexible, supportive and work towards empowering
individuals and the team. When the quality of care is ingrained, the people who
are with you start developing. As a result they would want to continue working
as the emotional connect has been established.
Self-Compassion Comes First
Caring for self is self-compassion. Only when we
care and love ourselves, we will be able to care for others. We can always give
to others only what we have. If we always criticizing and condemning others,
watch out, you are doing the same with yourself also. This is damaging as we
will be expecting the worst from our selves if we are expecting the worst from
others as well.
Becoming self-compassionate is a huge learning as
we start looking at a totally different angle towards our own self. Start
developing the art of compassion by being patient with yourself in any
situation. Tell yourself in challenging
situations “I need to take care of myself first. Only when am comfortable, I
can make others also comfortable”. There is a solution to every problem and I
will work towards the solution”. This will make us move towards the solution
easily. All of us are human, we err in life. When we move in the intention of solving
it amicably we are building fruitful relationships and thereby compassionate.
Understand emotions
One of the first steps in learning how to be compassionate to
yourself is to understand emotions. Every emotion is due to an external
trigger. Focus on what caused the emotional trigger and how you are responding
to the trigger. Close scrutiny of emotions tells a lot about ourselves which we
would not have otherwise accepted.
We are the reason for our misery and we are not
willing to come out of it. Change the feeling to “I will do it at any cost”.
This will change the mindset.
Acknowledge
the mistake
When we start being vocal about our mistakes, the struggle within
ourselves start getting reduced. As we start acknowledging the same, we start
freeing ourselves of the emotions that has tied us down. This sort of let-go
becomes a liberation and also imprints learnings from actions through the
process of verbalisation.
Talk to yourself as you talk to your best friend, saying it is ok.
Things will get well soon. It is only a matter of time. This is very powerful.
Every
mistake is a learning experience
The one who makes no mistakes makes nothing. The one who mistakes
and learns gains wisdom. Certain circumstances make us commit mistakes. This
should not stop us from moving on and telling ourselves “We did our best”. When
we tell ourselves that we did our best for that moment. The best is yet to come
in the future moments. It is a very encouraging step to move forwards.
We need to forgive ourselves and start thinking about
the next step that has to be done. Simply brooding over past mistakes will not
help in any way.
Silence
the inner critic
Our own inner voice becomes our worst critic sometimes. When faced
with such a situation acknowledge the inner critic also.
To quieten the negative comments, start making a list of all the
things that your inner voice is accusing on a sheet of paper. Take a different
colored pen and for every accusation, write a loving response and scratch the
older one . The older one will start fading away when you read and re-read the
loving responses.
Connect with like-minded people
Each one of us are carrying our own emotional baggage which is not
visible to others. We think our baggage is the heaviest unless we meet others
and get to know their story. It so happens that we listen to others, we also
start relating our experiences and then we connect with people very soon who
have undergone the same experience. This connection will help in bonding and
gaining insights about how they handled the situation or how it could have been
done better. This becomes a life’s lesson. Even though sometimes we might not
have had the same experience, we will still be able to connect as our loved
ones would have undergone the same. Start connecting with people and see the
difference it brings in your life.
Study Yourself
We know everything about
so many things which do not matter to us in any way. What we really don’t know
is about ourselves. Take out time everyday and start knowing about your own
self. This is called as self-study about oneself.
This
kind of self-examination will help us to empathise with ourselves. It also provides us with the information that we
need to change about ourselves. When we’re aware of our conditioning
that drives our behaviour we are likely not to repeat them again in the future.
Gain
clarity about what you want
What is it that we want to do when we encounter mistakes in
ourselves or with our colleagues? What is the damage that it has caused? Is
fighting the hard way the only way out or is there scope for negotiation?
What will the after -effects of this approach be? We need to have
clarity in each and every step. We have to use emotions wisely to arrive at
solutions and not allow emotions to get in our way of making decisions.
When clarity is there, we can lead a balanced approach and have
mutually benefitting situations for ourselves and for our co-workers and our
loved ones.
Comment below with your thoughts. Watch this space for more insights on healthy mindset for self-leadership. Want to bring about the culture of progress, performance and productivity for maximizing your profits, attend our Turning Point– Turn in and Tune in workshop. Mail us at turningpoint@hasovan.com for more details. Our team would be happy to get in touch. Catch the work-place philosophy of various companies in the book “Erupt with Joy” by Savitha Hosamane.
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